


The Tam Letters

by Ella_Greggs



Category: Firefly
Genre: Character Study, Family Drama, Gen, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-12-20
Updated: 2016-01-01
Packaged: 2017-11-21 15:52:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,415
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/599518
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ella_Greggs/pseuds/Ella_Greggs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Once aboard Serenity, Simon begins a correspondence with his father. Their letters start out formal and distant, but as the exchanges continue, love overtakes pride and Simon comes to find in his father the confidant he so desperately needs as River and he struggle to survive in the Black.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Postmarked "Serenity"

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Jadzia_Bear](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jadzia_Bear/gifts).



> I like the idea of showing Simon and his father Gabriel growing closer through letters during the course of the series. I know there are different interpretations of Mama and Papa Tam. My own is that they were loving, caring parents who failed their children pre-series not because they didn't care but because they didn't believe. Gabriel and Regan Tam lived in a system that had been very good to them their whole lives, which caused them to trust that system WAY too much. 
> 
> These letters are written as though Simon and his father were editing as they go, so words/phrases that are crossed out are words/phrases they wrote and then erased. I intend to do one exchange for each episode. Any and all feedback is shiny, shiny, shiny!

Dear Father,

I'm not sure when or even if this letter will reach you. I can only hope that I have judged the postmaster in Whitefall correctly ~~and paid him sufficiently~~. Don't be alarmed - by the time you read this we shall be long gone from this God forsaken place.

River and I are ~~safe~~ ~~well~~ ~~okay~~ safe ~~for now~~. Please don't worry about us and please don't try to find us. I have to keep this brief, for your sake as well as for ours, but suffice it to say I was right about something bad happening to River at the Academy, and I swear to you I'll do all in my power to protect her and ~~cure her condition~~ ~~reverse the damage~~ help her ~~get better~~ ~~overcome the trauma~~ recover.

River sends her love, as do I, to you and Mother. ~~I'll write again when I can~~.

Simon

* * *

Simon,

 ~~Thank God you and River are safe.~~ I insist that you come home at once. ~~Do you realize the trouble you're in?~~ I don't know if you realize the trouble you're in. ~~Your medical license has been suspended and you and River have been labeled dangerous fugitives. _My_ children, dangerous fugitives!~~ The authorities are looking for you. I’ve decided not to share your letter with your mother, as it would only upset her with its cryptic references to nefarious goings on. As it is, the poor woman can hardly go anywhere without being subjected to the most outrageous speculation ~~of our friends~~ ~~of our so-called friends~~.

What has happened to River? If she was abused in some way, you must tell me and I will make sure those responsible are held to account. If she is ill, you must bring her home where she can be properly cared for. ~~And what do you mean by "for your sake as well as ours"? Honestly, Simon, you sound as paranoid as when you left.~~ The scruffy man who delivered your letter looked like he should be running a craps table or peddling pots and pans in the market. ~~I've paid him handsomely, but~~ Heaven only knows if he will actually send this reply to you. What is going on, son? ~~How do you even know such people?~~

We hired several detectives to look for you, but they got no further than Persephone and then your trail vanished. I would send them to Whitefall, but I know you wouldn't be so mendacious as to lie about no longer being there. ~~Please tell me you are not hiding on some other primitive, lawless Rim planet completely cut off from civilization.~~

Your mother is worried sick ~~and so am I~~. ~~It was clear you had fallen in with rebels and troublemakers, but I never thought you would go to such extremes.~~ ~~Please come home, Simon.~~ Come home, Simon, and ~~whatever you have gotten yourself into~~ we will work it out ~~together~~ together. I know we parted with harsh words, but your mother and I love you and I promise I will do all in my power to ~~intercede with the authorities on your behalf~~ help you and your sister. If you need money for the journey, tell me where and I will send it. ~~We miss you.~~

Father

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like I said in the summary, I have in mind that Simon and Gabriel start off writing coldly to each other, neither one wanting to show weakness and both still smarting from the harsh words they exchanged at their last meeting (in the police station in 'Safe'). At the same time, neither wants to worry the other. At least, that's the effect I was going for in this first exchange.


	2. Postmarked "The Train Job"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reality of their respective situations starts to sink in for Simon and Gabriel. As threats to their safety increase, they struggle to describe what's happening without burdening each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reminder: Words/sentences that are struck through represent what each man wrote and then erased.
> 
> WARNING in end notes for minor possible trigger, but it's a spoiler of sorts so I hope you'll read the chapter first.

Dear Father,

River sends her love.  ~~She wishes we were home.~~   We are fine.  I can’t tell you much more than that about our immediate circumstances.  You’ll think I’m being paranoid, but please trust me when I say powerful forces in the Alliance ~~want to recapture her~~ are looking for ~~her~~ us.  Withholding our whereabouts is the best way to keep the entire family safe.   ~~Mother and you can’t be punished for concealing what you don’t know.~~  I am truly sorry if that causes Mother and you further distress ~~but I don’t know what else to do~~.

I’m sorry my last letter about River’s condition was so vague.  Perhaps telling you the truth (at least as far as I know it) will help you understand why I did what I did.  ~~Perhaps you will even forgive me.~~  It is as I feared – River was definitely being abused at the Academy.   So far I haven’t been able to get her to tell me ~~what exactly they did to her~~ what exactly happened.  I don’t believe ~~she was sexually abused~~ the abuse was sexual in nature, but she’s clearly suffered a ~~severe~~ serious psychological trauma.  ~~One moment she’ll be her normal, lucid, _know-it-all_ self, and the next she’s cowering in the corner muttering gibberish.~~  Right now, my highest priority is keeping her safe and helping her get better.  ~~I can’t do either if we come home.~~   Already, things are looking up.  Some people are helping us ~~, although I’m not sure how long that will last~~ ~~whether I can trust them~~ ~~how far I can trust them~~.

I have one good piece of news to share.  I’ve found a way to ~~practice medicine out here~~ keep practicing medicine ~~(after a fashion)~~.  The facilities, supplies and equipment available ~~out here~~ are subpar, to say the least, completely inferior in every way to Osiris.  However, I choose to consider that a challenge to overcome, rather than an obstacle to be endured.  ~~It’s comforting to do something familiar, something I’m good at, in surroundings that are so alien.~~   My patients are ~~not very patient~~ ~~a motley bunch~~ ~~a stubborn bunch~~ ~~a colorful bunch~~ different from what I’m used to, but I am adjusting.

I’ll write again when I get a chance.

Simon

 

* * *

 

Simon,

I really don’t know how to react to your letter.  ~~The fact that it arrived nearly a month after you wrote it doesn’t help.~~   It arrived about a month after you wrote it.  The courier this time was a child, a ten-year old child!  He pretended to fall in the street right in front of me.  When I bent down to help him up, he handed me this letter and told me he’d be waiting one block away at exactly that same time next week if I wanted to send a reply.  ~~The price of “postage,” he informed me, has gone up.~~   ~~It’s horrifying to think you must also be dealing with such detestable people.~~   ~~I still can't believe this is happening to our family.~~

Yesterday ~~troops came to our house and fanned out around the living room, weapons on full display, while~~ an Alliance colonel ~~demanded to know where you were~~ came to question us.  ~~Actually, now that I think about it, he mainly asked about River.~~   Of course, we told him nothing.  ~~Child extortionists, military intimidation, River’s suffering. This is all too much for me.~~   Your mother was wonderful.  ~~She’s still tremendously worried, but having most of her friends turn on her has brought out a protectiveness and defiance I’ve never seen before.~~    You should have seen her give that colonel a tongue lashing for ~~invading our home~~ ~~threatening us~~ trying to intimidate us!  ~~~~

Now I know you were right and I was wrong.  I’m so sorry for disbelieving you, son. ~~I hope you can forgive me.~~   ~~I hope you can forgive me.~~   I hope you and River can forgive me.

I still haven’t shared your letters with your mother, but I did tell her you’d managed to send a message saying you and River are safe.  I told her right after ~~those troops left~~ that colonel left.  She was so relieved.  We agreed something untoward must have been going on at the Academy, because how else to explain the military getting involved, ~~when a supposed “theft of government property” from a school should only concern the civilian authorities.~~   ~~I say “theft.”  No one will actually tell us what exactly you and your sister supposedly stole.~~ rather than the civilian authorities.

 ~~You must tell me~~ Please share with me everything about River’s condition, everything, ~~because as it is I lay awake imagining the most horrible things.  Even though you say you’ve ruled it out, I can’t even bear to think about… what you mentioned.~~   I’m not going to let those responsible get away with hurting my precious girl.  I also don’t like keeping your mother in the dark, but I ~~can’t face having~~ ~~can’t bear to have~~ don’t want to have that conversation with her without knowing more.

We love you both so much.  Take care of each other and write again.  ~~I don’t care how many shady characters I have to deal with or how much I have to pay.~~  

Father

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: vague mention of potential sexual abuse.
> 
> As you can see, each man feels he's let the other down. Gabriel dismissed Simon's concern about the Academy, and Simon disgraced his parents (even though he felt he had no other choice). So in their letters, both men want simultaneously to reassure that they are okay and be reassured that they are forgiven. At the same time, it's hard for each of them to swallow their pride and show any vulnerability. Did you notice how Gabriel is trying to be less authoritarian, worried that otherwise he'll drive his son away? And it's so important for Simon -- surrounded by violence and criminals -- to hold onto his identity as a healer. 
> 
> I had Simon specifically raise and rule out sexual abuse not because I suspect River experienced any. I don't believe she did. There's absolutely no indication -- either in the script or as the character is portrayed -- that she endured anything additional to the neurological experiments at the Academy. But I think it's only natural for a father's worst fears to include that when he hears his daughter has been abused and traumatized, and for a son who is a doctor, who knows his father must be worried about that particular thing, to want to rule it out right away.


End file.
